I know people mean well, but what is with the over 70 set insisting that my baby eats too often and that I need not to hold her so much? I have been told multiple times, since week 2, that I am spoiling her by giving her hugs when she cries and that when I breastfeed what baby "really" wants is a pacifier... (big holiday get-togethers are great for cranky babies and unsolicited baby advice...)
Question. Are people like this in the States too?
I guess I need tougher skin but these "helpful" comments, which are usually under the breath but loud enough to hear over baby's crying and at particularly vulnerable moments feel just plain mean.
ok. Had to get that off my chest...
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It's old school parenting - Dr. Spock and all that jazz, when babies where supposed to be on a "schedule." Just ignore it - you cannot (I REPEAT CANNOT) spoil a baby by holding her or feeding her on demand.
ReplyDeleteSure, it's annoying, but smile and move on. Or just nod and agree - most of the time, people think they are being helpful and/or just want to be heard!
I've since found out that the other moms in my prenatal course are going through the same thing that I am. The rules have changed (even Dr. Spock admitted he was wrong about certain things...) people!! OH well. The holidays are over. Back to our little routine...
ReplyDeleteWait a few months, the whole scenario changes! Case in point, when Kieran was about 6 months old, we let him "cry it out" at bed time. Kevin and I were so tired from only 4-5 hrs a sleep a night, letting him cry a bit and then letting him settle himself down was the only way we could get more than a few hours rest. Worked like a charm after the initial few days (crying time gets shorter and shorter). But the criticism! Couldn't believe the comments: "how can you leave him crying"...etc. You gotta do what you think is best for YOU and for your baby. Sorry to hear 'bout your troubles :)
ReplyDeleteMiss you guys xxxx
Kate is right - you'll figure out what is best for the three of you, and it will all be fine.
ReplyDeleteIf it makes you feel better, the Bionic One always did stuff on his own schedule. He didn't sleep through the night until he was one, he potty-trained at 3 years old (and not a minute before his birthday!), and well - he's continuing the trend with his college search, sports endeavors, etc.
And yes, I still hear about these "choices" from my family. I just learned to ignore them after 17 years!