About those Pictures

I was hoping that I would have a nice bump to show off by week 17. And I do, sort of.

But, as far as Belly Pictures, I am going to wait. For one thing, I seem to the be only one truly impressed with its dimensions. Other people who come looking for it are clearly disappointed and say things like "you can hardly see it" and "well, yeah, uh huh, there's a little something there, and, um,  it will start growing now, I'm sure..."

So forget it. Let's wait til I'm a blimp.

My Doctor High Fived Me Today...

...When he saw that my weight had not changed since I got pregnant. Well, it did go down during the first trimester because I was sick all of the time. But other than that it's been pretty static. I was a little startled at his reaction. One, because he's not a "high-fiving" type, and B, because I've been reading these American pregnancy guides that have you thinking you're dissing the fetus UNLESS you pack on the pounds.

Here are some examples:

"Now, as you know, women are having babies in their late twenties, their late thirties, and even into their forties. We're coming in older and heavier, and we're packing weight in proportion to our age! Good news: The doctors (lots more of them are women, now, too!) and books say gaining twenty-fve to thirty-five pounds is normal nowadays. But I've done a little research myself, and I think those books and experts are even a little off. Most women I've talked to gained about fifty pounds. Sure, there are are annoying exceptions, but I swear most were in the fifty zone. Even my doctor said fifty was pretty normal. Of course, I surpassed this new normal by ten pounds, but you get what I'm saying. Maybe Mother doesn't always know best, you know?" 

Jenny McCarthy in Belly Laughs

This was the chapter she was complaining about how Boomers (including her mom) had stricter weight gain rules when they were preggers. 

Here's another one from a different book:

"By the way, you might be as secretly gratified as I was to notice that women who are what I call 'professionally thin' - meaning they have to be skinny- often really pack on the pounds during pregnancy. I'm talking sixty to seventy pounds for some of the most svelte women you have ever seen on television or in magazines."

and 

"My girlfriend Shannon, who is a gorgeous actress, started each pregnant day with eggs, bacon and so much white toast that she would go through a loaf every other day. She just had a fabulous time, and after the baby was born, she dieted and worked out until she was thin and fit and even more beautiful than she had been before. That is precisely what the other beauties have done, and you can, too, so go ahead and EAT. Heck, you might as well; you can't get drunk, you can't slink around in a sexy black minidress, you can't even take medicine when you are suffering from a cold. What other joys are there for pregnant women?"

Vicki Iovine in The Girlfriends' Guide to Pregnancy

BTW she also calls pregnancy a great excuse not to exercise (You're gonna get fat anyway!) and says it's okay to dye your hair if you can't face the gray. 

and here's another one.

"Fortunately, nature offers some protection for the babies of mothers who are too queasy to eat well during the first trimester: the fetus's need for calories and certain nutrients during this time is not as great as it will be later, so not gaining early on isn't likely to have an effect. But not gaining weight from here on in can have an effect- a significant one- because calories and nutrients will be more and more in demand as your baby-making factory picks up steam. So don't worry, but do eat. And start watching your weight carefully to make sure it begins to move upward at a satisfactory rate..."

Heidi Murkoff, Arlene Eisenberg & Sandee Hathaway in What to Expect When You're Expecting

So, I told my doctor all of this and here is what he said. 

"Um, excuse me, but are you really going to the Americans for advice on weight gain?" I guess he has a point there. 

The Maternity Clothes REAPPEARED!!

I just got word that two sacks of Maternity Clothes have been left for me (under lock and key now) at work. Apparently they DID NOT get sold at the Lyons Club Rummage sale. Well, that's good news because the button on my last pair of fitting jeans is ready to pop off. Yeah!

Update

I saw Rachel last Thursday and explained all about her stuff getting sold by the Lions club (btw, total profits from their rummage sale: 1000 euros). The only thing she was truly disappointed about was the DVD she had in there for pre-natal yoga. I ran into her just moments after running into the lady who unpacked and priced the stuff (we were at the last film of the American film series that the Italian American club puts on). She gave me what was left of the contents of the IKEA bag: two pairs of brand new black hose still in their packages. Who knows if I'll be dressing up around the time I will be big enough to wear them. Rachel gave me some books (to me directly this time). One of them is a book on pregnancy by Jenny McCarthy. Actually pretty funny. I really don't know who she is, though. Wasn't she married to Jim Carrey or something?  

Anyway, shout out to Rachel, THANK YOU. 

Shout out to pregnant Triestina(s) running around in Rachel's maternity clothes and watching her prenatal video, ENJOY! 

Can you BELIEVE this?!

So, last Friday, a very nice American friend named Rachel came into the Italian American Association and left me an IKEA bag FULL of maternity clothes, videos and the like. Denise put them in the backroom (where we put everything that gets left for one of us, just so it's not out in the open). So I go in Saturday morning because Denise told me it was waiting for me (and Rachel told me ahead of time that she was dropping them off and asked me to kindly put them aside for her when I'm done because she may need them again in the future...). Funny thing. NO BAG. 

Now who would take a bag of MATERNITY CLOTHES?? Keep in mind that nothing EVER gets stolen from our Association (touch wood), so this was very strange indeed. The backroom did look overly tidy, though, so I thought that perhaps our cleaning woman had been in that morning. 

Sunday passes, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday comes along and we get the full scoop on the maternity clothes. It turns out that the cleaning woman was cleaning in there on Saturday (probably minutes before I got there) when a woman from the Lyons club (they sub-rent an office from us) asked her if there were "any more  bags in the back room" (why we would have their bags in our backroom has still not been explained) for their giant rummage sale on Sunday morning. You can see where this is going... 

"Ah, yep, here's one more... " and with that the bag of maternity clothes was handed over to the Lyons, who swiftly unpacked it (we did find the IKEA bag in their office), tagged it, AND SOLD IT at their rummage sale. 

Well. at least the money is going to charity, I supposed. But it still annoys the bejeezus out of me. 

Did the Amnio today

My plan was to take today and just hang out in bed reading after the Amnio that I did this morning. I have been looking forward to that relax time for a week. Too bad that as soon as I got home and had lunch, my body gave me reason to stay in bed for real: sore throat, headache, general exhaustion. Poop! It felt like someone took a hammer to my head to make me forget the twinge in the tummy from that big needle... At some point I just decided to get up and at least check my email, since staying in bed wasn't helping my headache at all. 

I think I could have gone without this amnio thing, really. I wasn't crazy about doing it. For those who aren't down with prenatal tests, this one tells you if your fetus has Downs sindrome and some other genetic diseases and disorders. It also tells you the sex of your baby (if you want to know). I had already taken another test earlier (I think I mentioned it a few stories down) that used fetal measurements and blood test results to tell me that I am low risk, but talking to other moms here (I should stop doing that), I realized that ALL of the Italian women had taken it while NONE of my foreign friends had (oh wait, there was one). Interesting. Apparently the only real red flag is my age, because I am over 35. In fact, according to my statistics, the probability of having a baby with Downs was four times LESS than the probability of losing the baby because of this test. Both percentages, by the way, were pretty low. 

So I did it. 

Next question. Did it hurt? Yes. But not as much as I thought. That needle has to cross a lot of territory, muscles, uterus and anything in between in order to suck up the amniotic fluid, so it wasn't surprising. They do it fast, though, and I couldn't help but feel like Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction when she's getting the adrenaline to the heart. I'm not kidding. 

Sugar gave a kick, too. And I saw that she has long femurs. She'll definitely be an athlete: soccer player and runner. For sure! Anyway, the test all in all was fine and the best part was that it was a good excuse to see the Sugarbaby, whom I wouldn't otherwise see until June 14.

By the way, she was hanging out upside down, but she'll be doing flips soon. 

The Belly has Started to Explode

It's gone from nuttin' to sumpin' OVERNIGHT! I'm not kidding. Sweetie said he could finally TELL yesterday, and today I had people talking to me and sneaking peaks down to the mid-section in mid-sentence. By the way, no one had the guts or the gauche(ness) to ask me if I was in "sweet waiting" today. Not that it's never happened. It has, but I wasn't pregnant at the time (doh!)

Wish I Could Take Credit for That last one

... But I can't. It was my friend, Grazia. It is pretty hilarious, though. It also made me miss my hair a little. Maybe I should get me some Britney extensions!!

I JUST WISH I HAD SOME PRIVACY!!!

OFFICIAL STATEMENT TO FANS:

CONTRARY TO RUMORS AROUND HOLLYWOOD, TRIESTE, AND THE BLOGOSPHERE, MY CLIENT, MS. KAROLINE STECKLEY, IS NOT PREGNANT. THAT BUMP IS ALL HERS. SHE HAS JUST BEEN EATING A LITTLE TOO MUCH LATELY.

MS. STECKLEY WISHES TO THANK HER FANS FOR THEIR CONTINUED DEVOTION AND PROMISES TO GO ON A DIET SOON.

SINCERELY,
MS. GRAZIA DALL'AQUA
DALL'AQUA CELEBRITY COMMUNICATIONS
SAN GIACOMO, TRIESTE, ITALY

15 Week Update

I was reading in one of those SEE WHAT YOUR FETUS IS UP TO websites (the ones that really want to sell you pregnancy pillows) that at 15 weeks little Sugar should be about 4 inches long. Now, I am assuming that this measurement is the standard "head to rump" fare.

Which means that stretched out with her little Sugarlegs, she would be about 5 inches, and that would make her the height of a STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE DOLL! Doesn't that make you totally want to play with her already?? 

It also makes me want to change her name to SHORTCAKE. So I guess that will be her MIDDLE NAME from now on. 

How's it going, SUGAR SHORTCAKE MENG?? 

DOUBLE RACING FETAL DEBUT

Sunday was an eventful day for little Sugar! Not only did Italy's favorite fetus walk the 7.5k Bavisela (I think it's fair to say that she was more of a passenger), but she* also had her half-marathon debut as an ultrasound picture pinned to Sweetie's tummy as a way of announcing to the world (but mostly his running buddies) that he is an expectant Papi.

*Let's not jump to conclusions, It is just too neutral, so the rule is that it is a she while still cooking. At birth, we'll see.